You may have heard that there are several basic styles of parenting, and this is true. While it can help to study various parenting philosophies, when it comes down to it you have to use your own judgment and see what works best for you. At the same time, you’ll probably find that the following points can help clarify certain areas of parenting that many find challenging.
If you practice permissive parenting, you have to be prepared for some difficulties down the road. This is a parenting style where discipline, if present at all, is kept to a minimum. If you’ve ever seen noisy, rambunctious kids in a public place whose parents make no attempt to reign them in, you’ve seen an example of this parenting style. Too much permissiveness can not only make your kids a burden on other people, it makes life difficult for the kids as well. For one thing, other people are not as lenient as permissive parents, so kids raised in such a home often have trouble when they have to fit into the wider world. Kids also need a certain amount of structure to feel safe and secure, and they look to the adults around them for this. Although there are many parenting skills that you may learn, one of the hardest ones to convey to your children is that there are consequences for their actions. Consequences for bad behavior typically range around the removal of certain privileges like surfing on the Internet or having to sit in the room. When it comes to setting up rules in the house, it’s best to only create rules that you intend to consistently enforce. Every rule that you set up needs to be adhered to, and not something passing in the wind that may or may not be required. It is so important to always be consistent with the enforcement of your policies, otherwise your kids will not develop a sense of responsibility or structure in regard to the choices that they make.
Making rules for your kids is a necessary part of being a parent. Up to a certain age, it’s even essential for their safety. Beyond this, however, kids need to have some structure in their lives until they’re mature enough to set their own limits. Most rules aren’t about life shattering issues, but on everyday matters like meals, schedules, how much TV/online time the child is allowed and similar things. You don’t want to make their lives too structured, though; the way you can strike a balance is by telling them something like, "You can either do A or B, but not both." You can tell them, for instance, that if they want dessert they have to eat their vegetables, but they might have a choice between spinach and broccoli. Your personality, and the personality of your child, will play a large role in your relationship as you both grow older. Some children need more discipline, while others have more self control. So, while it’s good to study various parenting theories and know what the experts recommend, in some ways you have to base your own parenting style on your own children and situation.